Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Coach Nick Saban tells a story of three baby birds who fell into the ocean. The mama bird was frantic because her babies were about to drown so the daddy bird flies out and scoops the first baby bird up and sits him down on dry land and asks his son, “Now that I saved your life what are you going to do for me?” His son looks up at him and says, “Dad, when you get old I’m going to take care of you,” and with that, the dad picks up his son and drops him back into the ocean. He then scoops up the second son and brings him to dry land and asks the same question, “Now that I saved your life what are you going to do for me?” The second son says, “Dad you don’t have to worry about anything when you get old because I’m going to take care of you,” and with that the dad does the same thing he did with the first son, he drops him back into the ocean and scoops up the third son and asks the same previous question. The third son says, “Dad, I promise to do everything for my sons as you did for me.”

Your children & the people you lead– the ones who came in with bad credit and today they bought their first home; the ones who used to ride a bike or took a bus to & from work, leave today in their own vehicle; the once shy & inhibited one, who can now talk to anyone; the one who turned his life around & is married with children…those people, your people owe you nothing.

Not a damn thing…

And the best thing they can do- the only thing they should do “for you,” is to be a better parent, manager, & leader, for their kids, for their employees, for their community.

Besides what you want from them anyway? I mean when you keep throwing it up in their face when you stood in the gap, bailed them out, and turned them around…how you made sacrifices, worked two jobs, & made a way out of no way.

What really do you want from them anyway? You don’t want to thank you, you want power and the minute they resist you- the minute they push off and stand on their own by making their own mind up- the minute you feel your power slip, you try to get it back by slapping them with a reminder of all that you’ve done for them.

They don’t appreciate that, they resent it. They don’t feel all warm & fuzzy when you re-open wounds and bear their scares of weaknesses & downfalls just so that you can get the upper hand and pull their strings again.

Nothing…they owe you nothing.

The only thing they owe you is to the pay it forward- improving on what was passed down by you when they were passed up by others.

Hopefully all that you’ve done-the long talks, the sacrifices, the discipline, the love…hopefully you did all of that simply because someone did it (or didn’t do it) for you and you just wanted to improve on that.

Catch The Sales Life w Marsh Buice daily podcast. Find it on iTunes or your favorite podcast platform.

Graham Betchart a sports psychologist & mental toughness coach to professional athletes begins coaching his players w/ 3 plays. These 3 plays set the foundation toward continuous growth that you & I can use…the good news is we don’t even have to run sprints or stadiums to be one of the best!

  • Play #1: W.I.N. stands for What’s important now? Simply controlling the controllables. You can’t control the ultimate outcome but you can heavily influence it. Outcomes can be influenced by the 3 things within your control: Attitude, Effort, & Focus. If your attitude is one where you’re walking around blowing your breath in big huffs- looking like a big ass eye roll emoji then you’re going to get back what you put out- negative results. But if your attitude is that of being open minded- in his book Principles, billionaire investor Ray Dalio calls it being radically open-minded, this mindset keeps the channels of your mind open and flexible. Look, things are going to ebb & flow- some things will bounce your way, other times, even when done perfect will not, but you’ve got to keep the attitude and keep plugging knowing things will swing to & fro. If you think about the times that you’re all pissed off, you usually have a rigid, closed mind, don’t you? You’re also in control of your effort- concentrate on giving full effort to each day, customer, & encounter. I find that when your attitude trails off you tend to be more me focused– worried more about what you’re getting & less of what you’re giving. You just give it all you got- you’ll get what you deserve. You also control your focus. Ask yourself, What time zone am I in right now? We live in 1 of 3 time zones: Past, Present, or Future.The only one that’s productively real is what’s happening right now. Stay local (not loco).
  • Play #2: Be present. Graham says it’s reeeeel easy to play present when you’re winning and everything’s going right- but can you play when your in the shit spin cycle of Life…can you play present even when you’re in pain? Graham has a saying that I love & use that re-centers me back to the present when I feel like I’m starting to drift into the past or future, “Play where your feet are.” It’s an instant slap back to reality- where are your feet right now? Play there…
  • Play #3 Next Play Speed: Athletes don’t have time to get hung up on a blocked or missed shot- Graham coaches his players to hurry up and get into the next play. This prevents them from getting stuck in an action that has already happened. Whenever I don’t do well with a previous customer, I try not to park & bitch about what I did or didn’t have/do- no, I quickly get back in the mix by looking for the next play- the next opportunity or activity that I can possibly capitalize on.

So that’s it! 3 plays is all you have to remember & run today. W.I.N. (What’s Important Now); Play Present, & Next Play Speed.

Blow the whistle- You’re in!

I’ll see you on the Blacktop!

Listen & Subscribe to my daily 5 min podcast The Sales Life w Marsh Buice found on iTunes or anchor.fm/marshbuice

I had a salesperson that I just couldn’t seem to get her to work with more customers- being she was new, I would repeatedly emphasize to her to work with more customers, but when they would come in, she’d usually fall back & let another salesperson Up (catch) them. I couldn’t figure it out..she knew her product, she was technically sound, & she was used to competing against the boys because she came from a male dominated industry …so what was it? When asked, she responded, “Marsh, I don’t have a huge need- the other salespeople around me have to struggle to make a sale in order to pay rent & car notes- I don’t have a huge need so I don’t need to make much.” Leaning back I asked her, “So what’s your end game…” to that she told me that she planned on being in the car business a long time. “Then if that’s the case, you’re not doing yourself much good- here’s why…

First, you can’t teach what you don’t know & you’ll never know until you first do. In his biography, Arnold Schwarzenegger said the 3 keys to him becoming a 7x Mr Olympia, successful businessman, & one of the highest paid actors at the time in Hollywood were reps, reps, reps.”

Reps weatherproof your career. You’ve got to work with hundreds of experiences, objections, scenarios, & obstacles while fading & maneuvering through thousands of rejections not only so that you can learn, but so that you can pay it forward and help others succeed who are starting out as well. Reps also give your customers the needed assurances that you can help them with their current situation because you’ve helped other customers maneuver through similar circumstances as well.

This brings me to my 2nd point,” I told her, “When you’re not working with enough customers, not only do you not possess enough of the necessary skills that they desire & deserve, but not working with enough customers means that you’re OK with them buying from an inferior salesperson- if you say that you’re here to help customers, then you’ve got to follow through with actions to those words.”

Which brings me to my 3rd point,” I quipped, “Do you have kids?” She told me that she had a boy and a girl- Mason & Madison…”Do you want them to do well in life,” I asked knowing she’d say yes. “If you want them to do well, then be their teacher- set the example because they can’t be what they don’t see. The reason why so many struggle as adults today is because, no one played the part…no one showed them the pattern… no one chalked the outline, nor showed them what they could be because no one helped them see…no one showed them more so they’ve accepted less.”

You must do well…you must reach beyond your comfort zone…you must dig deep and get back up…you must set audacious goals & kick the door in when Life tries to slam it in your face…you must reach higher because this isn’t just about you.

It’s way bigger than that…

….but first you’ve got to set the bar.

I’ll see you on the Blacktop.

Many times when we miss a result we get discouraged don’t we? In sales when you’re working with a customer for hours, days, even months only to result in not making a deal(!!!)… you get discouraged…you get down…you get frustrated because you “missed” a sale. Or say you tried out for a team, submitted a paper for publishing, posted a blog, called on a new client, or had a one on one meeting with an advisor for school, counselor for your kids, or just someone that you needed a favorable outcome with and you didn’t to get it… you may think that you missed, but you didn’t …because what you “missed” actually becomes your momentum.

I tell my sales people all the time to feed the machine – meaning feed the action… feed the effort… if you feed it, the results will show and when they don’t “show”… when you feel that you missed, I want you to look at it differently. Look at it as momentum-at least you’re taking action, hell most people don’t even do that… they just sit and hope that something will come around, but hope is not a strategy. Look, I’d rather you try and fail than succeed and never trying because the action that you took- no it didn’t result in a cashable outcome, but it does still have value.… it’s called Feedback.

Feedback is a good thing…good or “bad”…favorable or “unfavorable,” use the feedback to tweak and refine your next approach, phone call, meeting, or submission.

Feedback is the noise that you get back – the bounce back from the effort that you made. Musicians know all about feedback… when they get on stage they do a sound check because sometimes their mic gives that deafening ring – that’s Feedback and the sound engineer makes the necessary adjustments so the sound comes out clear and crisp when they get ready to perform…your process needs to be the same way. When you step onto the stage with a customer…when you step onto the grand stage of Life– sure your initial try may be ear piercing feedback, but make the necessary adjustments….

Musicians don’t walk off stage due to an foul sound- no they adjust- not only initially but all throughout the performance… so should you…

Whether you’re slaying it today or just flat ass bombing, make the adjustments with the feedback that you’re receiving – don’t personalize or internalize it, just keep working it…

…& if you “miss” the result keep in mind that you made the momentum. Make the adjustments and keep on rocking.

I’ll see you on the Blacktop.

***Catch & subscribe to my daily 5 min podcast The Sales Life w Marsh Buice on iTunes or anchor.fm

comma

Whatever you title is at work, chances are it goes after your name. For instance, I am Marsh Buice, Business Manager-there’s a pause after your name, then your title. There was a time when I said my name..(pause).. followed by General Sales Manager and when I lost that distinction-when I lost my spot, I took it really hard. I took it hard because the title that followed my name didn’t carry the same weight-it didn’t carry the same clout that it once did. It was hard for me to shake-I mean I’d always prided myself that I didn’t care about a title, but it was only once I was stripped of my title that I realized how much of my ego was wrapped up in that title. 

I had to go through a process-a reset, a remolding of sorts, to realize that there’s a comma after my name not a period. Where I found myself one day didn’t mean I had to stay there; instead, I had to think of the moment, as a pause-a pivot for me to re-prioritize things-to accept responsibility, learn from my mistakes, and to forever remain humble. When people that I’d known for years would come in and ask me why I wasn’t sitting in my old spot, without trying to tiptoe or spin a story, I told them I’d gotten demoted. Painfully embarrassing, but necessary. Quick, easy, and no story-line (i.e. lie) to keep up with.

When Oprah sat down with Joe Biden, he said as a Senator and occasionally as Vice President, he rode the subway home every night to be with his sons. He said the ride kept him grounded-in touch with those he represented. He was so common in fact that those who rode the subway with him or lived in the surrounding areas didn’t address him as Senator or Mr. Vice President, they simply called him, “Joe.” Often as VP, his Secret Service Agents would be caught off-guard because people would yell out to him, “Hey Joe, come here!”

Joe stayed with his comma…

Everything is in transition; we all have a comma after our name. You may be on top of the world and everything is falling right in place for you….or maybe you find that you’ve slipped-that you’ve slid to the base of the mountain you once climbed. No matter where you find yourself, realize it’s a comma. You can start to climb again-this time you’ll be better, stronger, more learned that once before.  And if you’re at your Summit of Greatness, remember too that there’s a comma after your name, because you can move in any direction…left, right, up…but also down.

A comma…

…..a pause…a pivot-a press of a worthy pursuit.

It’s important to be thankful…because wherever you are isn’t permanent…it’s grace known as a comma.

I’ll see you on the Blacktop!

Check out the daily 5 min episodes of The Sales Life Podcast

 

image

No words can describe the sensation of walking into a spider web- no matter if you’re running late to pick your child or just mindlessly walking down a hallway, the minute you feel the web of the spider’s silk cling to your face, you freak out. To an observer, it looks as though you’ve suddenly lost your mind. Seizing in terror, you drop everything and begin clawing at your face. After raking your fingers through your scalp and swatting your body, you end up looking like the lead singer of a big-haired 80’s rock band who slept in his car all night. In short, you look a hot mess.

When you walk through a spider web, what do you fear most, the spider or the web? If you’re anything like me, you fear the end result, the spider. In my mind’s eye, I can see a pissed off spider, in retaliation for my destroying its web work-of-art, scurrying down my shirt collar, biting my neck, poisoning my bloodstream, and killing me instantly-leaving behind my wife and 4 kids. Wow, in a matter of seconds, I go from minding my own business, to that of destruction and death. And it’s all a lie.

 Out of a population of over 316 million Americans, fewer than 7 people die from a spider bite each year. (That’s a .0000000221319% chance by the way). Actually, you’re 8x more likely to die from a bee sting than from a spider bite. What you feel is real, but what you fear is not.

Isn’t this what usually happens in life? One minute you’re strolling through life and suddenly you become entangled in one of life’s unseen webs. A turning economy destroys your credit and pushes you into bankruptcy; after 25 years of being married to, who you thought was your best friend, is ending in divorce; after literally giving everything to your career-missing countless dinner dates, birthday parties, recitals, and basketball games, your employer suddenly eliminates your position-leaving you to pick up the fragments of your once thriving career. Bullying, discrimination, errant choices –it doesn’t matter because life’s webs do not discriminate-we all walk through them.

But the webs in your life are temporary, not terminal. Yes, what you are going through sucks-often it feels as if there is no end in site, but the good times aren’t final nor are these bad times fatal. Every darkness ends in sunrise; there is healing on the other side of this hurt. You will get through this because…

…there is no spider in your web.

In his book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, Harold Kushner tells of an old Chinese tale of a woman whose only son had died.

 ”In her grief, she went to the holy man and said, “What prayers, what magical incantations do you have to bring my son back to life?” Instead of sending her away or reasoning with her, he said to her, “Fetch me a mustard seed from a home that has never known sorrow. We will use it to drive the sorrow out of your life.” The woman set off at once in search of the magical mustard seed. She came first to a splendid mansion, knocked at the door and said, “I am looking for a home that has never known sorrow. Is this such a place? It is very important to me.” They told her, “You’ve certainly come to the wrong place,” and began to describe all the tragic things that had recently befallen on them. The woman said to herself, “Who is better to help these poor unfortunate people than I, who have had misfortune of my own.” 

After comforting one family, the lady continued on her journey in search for the magical mustard seed, but every palace and home she turned to was another story of hardships and misfortunes. “Ultimately she became so involved in ministering to other people’s griefs that she forgot about her quest for the magical mustard seed-never realizing that it had in fact driven the sorrow out of her own life.” 

From the richest to the destitute, when it comes to problems, we’re all on the same ship-just different decks. Even though what you are going through right now may seem unfair or unjust, there’s someone, somewhere who would gladly swap their problems for yours. It’s not to diminish the fact that what you are facing-albeit a financial hardship, strained relationship, sales slump, or maybe even something greater, isn’t painful, but understand that what you are going through today will not remain a problem forever. Rather than focusing only on your problems, use them instead to fuel the possibilities. Seek the opportunity to help others who are walking on the path that you once traveled. Let them know that they are not alone on their journey-you made it through and so can they.  Their road is less ominous when you become the light. Interestingly when you become the light to others, you in turn become the light to yourself. 

Lift your perspective to look at life not as a closure, but more as a series of detours. Behind every problem rests the opportunity-look for it.