Archive for the ‘Meaning’ Category

whoa

You’re gonna have your whoa-mentum days those days where no matter how hard you worked, the wheels wobbled and maybe even flew off and you skidded into the end of your day saying, “Whoa!”  Whoa-mentum days jack you up mentally and the next day you have the choice to either carry yesterday’s whoa-mentum forward, by thinking negatively and working less, or you can instead choose to treat whoa-mentum days for the blessings that they are.

Whoa-mentum days (aka WMd’s ) are actually a blessing because those are the rare occasions that you are alerted of momentum slippage.

Use those days to determine what caused the whoa-mentum. Maybe you worked too fast with a customer; asked limited questions to see if the customer was “worth your time;” weren’t persistent enough in asking for the business; or you just dialed in the effort, giving a half-baked effort because you weren’t feeling the customer.

If you can detect what specifically caused your whoa-mentum, then you can quickly make the course correction to get your month back on track.

The tricky part is that momentum is so sneaky and subtle that you don’t realize you’ve lost it until it’s too late & because lost momentum takes weeks to reveal its full negative impact, it takes days-if not weeks to regain the rhythm back.

Take yesterday’s whoa’s and feed the mo-chine...the machine of momentum by applying the formula:

Consistent action, applied strategically with persistence, equals Momentum.

Stay in The Sales Life 💪.

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mcdonalds Like 230 million other parents who didn’t feel like cooking tonight, I decided to grab my kids something to eat from McDonald’s. When I drove around to the speaker, I noticed the guy taking my order stuttered and immediately my heart bled for him because I used to stutter too. I stuttered so bad that my sister used to have to interpret what I’d just said, so hearing the guy brought me back to the anxiety I used to feel when having to speak…and here was a guy with the same issue I had, working the most treacherous ground one with his condition could work. The drive thru. Initially I was annoyed, “Out of alll the people who work there, why would the manager put that guy in that kind of position?” When I got around to the window to pay, the young man had to partially read my order back to me; obviously it took more of an effort on his part to focus on getting the words out. As I handed him my credit card, I admitted to him that I used to stutter and understood the challenge of having to speak-especially under pressure. When I asked him why the manager had him work the drive thru he said,
“He didn’t put me in the drive thru, I asked to be put here because I figured the only way I was ever going to get better is to force myself to do the very thing that I feared most so why not have to do if for 8 hours a day.”
Can you imagine having to work 8 hours not only dealing with the timed pressure of getting a customer through the line, but also having to try to speak quickly, change an order, deal with rude customers who ridicule you, and slide on to the next order while trying not to let the previous jerk get to you? If you’ve never stuttered before, you have no idea how hard it is to deliver on something that comes easy for so many others. 
“He didn’t put me in the drive thru, I asked to be put here…” That’s a true G in my book.
How many times every single day do you pick the path of least resistance-to take the easy road instead of the long, arduous one? That young man didn’t have to work the drive thru…he chose to. He clocks in and says put me in the toughest possible position for 8 hours because the only way out….is through! 
Hard is a choice…and that’s on you. Do you have to work with customers today? Do you have to call them back? Do you have to offer one more angle..one more thought…try one more approach when they’ve told you no, no, no, a dozen times…yet you persistently try again?
Do you have to…nope…you choose to. 
What do you choose today? What’s your Achilles heal? What do you suck at today…and what do you choose to do about it?
It’s on you….
You don’t strike oil in 3 feet of ground…you gotta dig deep…hit the bedrock of resistance, yet keep on pushing. When your mind tells you, “Wait!” When your experience tells you, “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work!” When your ego tries preserve what little self confidence you have left by pulling you back so as to not get stung with another No….
Before you have a chance to even think about it….do it. Do the hard thing. Put yourself in the hard position..stutter…stammer…turn red…break out in a cold sweat & hives…feel like you’re about to pass out…do whatever, but know this..
You won’t die…and on the other side, you’ll find out that your career will continue to live long and strong because you chose hard over easy.
Thank you…
 You’re w-w-welcome.
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Hear the (9 min) episode, “What drives you?” here.

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  • What drives you? Not in a negative way…but in a positive one.
    • Do you see yourself as even driven anymore?
    • Name someone on your social media feed who is extremely driven. (I bet it didn’t take you any time.)
  • But the truth is, you have drive too…you’re just not fueling it. 

In his book, The Way of the Seal, author Mark Divine writes that drive is fueled by desire, belief, and expectations.

  • You lost your drive because you lost your desire, belief, or expectations- one, both, or all of them.
  • You have the don’t wants because you have no desire...
  • Desire is an expressed want or crave.
    • Many “want” something, but few are bold enough to express those wants in a way that they won’t let up until they see it manifest. 
    • What do you desire to do, be, have, do, or go?
      • Don’t worry about how; first get the want…then put some expression on your wants.
  • Belief…what do you believe? Do you even believe any more?

What you see right now aint all there is.

  • Sometimes you have to make your own belief in order to create your future.
  • Don’t base your belief only on what you’ve already seen, if you do, you’re going to live a very limited life.
  • Expectations?What are you expecting today?
    • Are you living your life just tryin’ to hang in therejust tryin’ to get to Friday?
    • Are you living up or down to your expectations?
    • I expect every customer who comes through the door to buy…but I know they won’t.
    • If you set your expectations high, you’ll net higher results.
    • Setting high expectations prevents you from just floating from one day to the next, “hoping” something good happens for them.
      • Hope is not a strategy.
  • Your drive: belief, desire, and expectations are all fed by daily discipline. Discipline simply means to be a disciple of something higher.
    • How do the Navy SEALs practice daily discipline?
      • They’re “front-sight focused” meaning they only focused on the target at the end of their scope; once they hit the target, they focus on the next one of importance.
      • SEALs “embrace the suck.” All moments-good or bad are temporary, so when you’re in the suck, embrace it-laugh at it, realize that it is only for a limited time. Use these suck moments to build grit, resilience, and mental fortitude.

I told you that you have drive. You just need to fuel it with desire, belief, and expectations…and feed it with daily discipline.

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Hear the full episode “Back in the Sales Lab: Rarity” right here. 

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  • Do you know you possess the #1 skill needed today?
    • Don’t be so quick to be envious of those on your Instagram feed…if you’d only realize that you possess the #1 skill in the world.
  • What is the #1 skill in the world? Communication
    • The kind of communication I’m talking about is the ability to express and transmute your ideas onto others.
    • Anything we need to know is one Siri command away; but what is a rarity is the one who can articulate and bring an idea to life-so rich, so vibrant that the customer sees what you see!

And YOU possess the #1 skill.

Just saying the words, “I’m a salesperson,” make others cringe, yet you have the ability to embrace the hostility, discover your customer’s concerns, and by the time you are finished, they’re singing your praises. 

  • That’s why I say Selling is an Art.
  • Customer’s don’t really hate your profession…they’re actually mystified on how you can create magic right in front of their faces-no slight of hand, no mirror or special lighting…just art.
  • When retired NBA legend Kobe Bryant first walked into the animation studios, he was blown away how an artist can start with only a few unrecognizable lines and 20 shadings and lines later, the artist brings his character to life.
  • (Parents teach your children the art of communication.)
    • Where everyone else is hiding behind a text message, you be the one to stand boldly and communicate your art before a live audience. That is an art!
  • In his new book, Carmine Gallo says the art of communication will make you “indestructible” because no matter what happens in your life, you’ll have the ability to get back up, dust off, and keep communicating. (That’s why I love sales.)

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Hear the full 8 min episode right here.

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  • Most wouldn’t think of “Iron” Mike Tyson being a fearful guy, but he is-always has been. At a young age he was abused and pushed around.
  • At 13 years old, Mike met Cus D’amato and even though he prophesied that Tyson would be the heavyweight champion of the world, Cus first fought Mike’s mind before he’d even let him fight in the ring.

“Fear is your friend, but fear also is your greatest obstacle to learning. Fear is like fire, if you learn to control it, you let it work for you. But if you don’t learn to control that fear, it’ll destroy you and everything around you. Fear is like a snowball on a hill. You can pick it up, throw it, and do anything you want to before it starts rolling down the hill, but once fear starts rolling down, it gets so big it’ll crush you to death. So one must never allow fear to develop and build up without having control over it because if you don’t you won’t be able to achieve your objective nor save your own life.” ~Cus D’amato

  • Fear can be your greatest motivator or debilitator. 
  •  We all have snowballs in our lives-at one time we could’ve handled them, but undealt with fear barrels down and eventually overtakes you.
  • Fear can be used either as fuel to ignite you or you can choose to swallow it and its corrosiveness will kill you. 
  • Years ago while vacationing with my family, the front desk called and asked if I had another form of payment. American Express had frozen my ability to charge…I had no other form of payment (my other cards were maxed out), no cash, & was hours from home.
    • What was I to do? We needed to eat and get back home.
  • Fear overtook me. I was living a lifestyle I could no longer sustain and had to declare bankruptcy.
  • I’ve learned fear, undealt with, will eventually overtake you. Sure you can run, but fear will always catch up with you.
  • Turn toward fear, not away from it.
  • It’s written, “Speak to your mountains,” for a reason.
  • Running toward fear does 3 things: Gives you control back in your own life; shortens the duration of the storm (days instead of decades), and the results are rarely worse than you imagined (if you run at it immediately).

The greatest obstacle to your potential is fear.  

Share your thoughts with me from the podcast.

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Listen to the full 10 min episode, “‘Forgive & Forget’ is bs,” right here.

Lenny Kravitz Family

  • Musician Lenny Kravitz was the son of a soldier and an actress. (His mother played Helen Willis on the tv show The Jeffersons.)
  • After doing all she could to keep the family together, Lenny’s mother had enough of his father’s womanizing and she put him out…but before she did, she asked Lenny’s dad if he had any final words to his young son. His dad stood and said,

Yea, he’ll do it too.

  • Those 4 words haunted Lenny for years and strained his relationship with his father.
  • It was only on his deathbed did his father drop the facade.
  • That’s when Lenny decided that he must forgive & accept his father-who he was…and who he wasn’t.
  • I believe Forgive & Forget is total bullshit.When you’re hurt, people dismissively tell you to just forget about all of the wrongs..the disses…the betrayals from those who meant so much to you in your life, but how do you forget about all of the wrong when you cannot forgive what they’ve done to you and how they abandoned?
    • You don’t want to forgive because you don’t want to let them off the hook that easy…you think, “I can’t let them just walk away scott free while I sit here and try to pick up the pieces of my life!”

  •  Listening to Lenny’s story I’ve realized that it’s not about forgetting in order to forgive…instead, it’s accepting what’s already been done.
  • Healing is through forgiving & accepting. Accept the fact that you were kicked out, done wrong, forced out..& left to figure it all out or die.
  • Accept too that you didn’t have perfect parents. Because I’ve been resistant to accept my parents, I’ve taken on the very characteristics that I resented. I’m sure my children ask the same questions I’ve wondered in my parents, “Who are you?”
  • It’s not for me to change others, it’s to accept them so that I can move forward in my own life.
  • You should never forget because that’s how you gain experience and wisdom, just don’t punish the world and your future self because you’re unable to forget.
  • “If they’re no longer living with you then why are they living rent free in your head? If you no longer work for them, then why are they still your employer in your head?”

  • Forgive and accept is not for others..it’s for you.

Share your thoughts with me from the podcast.

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Most of us would not think of Bad being a good thing…

What the hell’s joyous about losing the one you’ve loved…where in the hell is the silver lining when the company brings you in…the same company that needed you to bail them out of a jam on weekends, holidays-once you even cut your vacation short. When they needed you most, you were always there…today they brought you in to tell you that they’re taking the company in a different direction and you’re not setting sail with them...”But thank you for everything.”

How hard is it to say Bless my soul when you lose your lease…or you only have only one month to pack up and get out of your home that you’ve amassed 2 decades worth of memories…now you have to downsize and feign the look of a fresh new start to the nosy ass neighbors pretending to be working in their yard. Sure they’re doing just fine-you’re the one who’s dying inside.

…the business that you started-first as a side hustle, then you took out a 2nd mortgage, telling your wife that everything’s going to be juuust fine because the contract you signed is huge and all of your struggles will have been worth it….after countless assurances of full speed ahead, the deal falls through and sinks to the bottom of despair. You’re deeply invested-at this point you aint worried about a return, you’re not sure if you can even survive.

We’ve all got a thumbprint on pain. We’re scarred with unfairness and share the commonality of being down and low….but no matter what “it” is…no matter how low, dark, or walled off it may seem…there’s opportunity in bad.

But first you have to look for it…

Mike Massimino, the astronaut tagged by NASA to repair the Hubble telescope-a billion dollar machine that detects other life and environments in outer space-if he doesn’t fix this part, billions of dollars could be lost forever because there is no backup Hubble…it’s one and done and now its future rests solely on his shoulders. Once in outer space, the only thing standing in the way of the repairs was a handle held in place by 4 innocent screws. The first, second, and third screws were removed as planned, but the fourth one was giving Massimino a little trouble, but with a liiiittle extra effort he thought he could….

…he stripped the final bolt.

With billions of dollars at stake…with millions more spent to send a crew to outer space, the screw was stripped…no Home Depot to run to & the supply of both oxygen and options was limited. At first Massimino did what any of us would’ve done…he beat himself up. It took you 4 tries to be an astronaut! You should’ve never made it this far! You shouldn’t have put so much force on that final screw! A mixture of negative emotions pushed to the front of his mind, but he gained his composure saying to himself, “As bad as things are, you can always make it worse.” He settled in…explored his options and fixed the almighty Hubble.

So you’re in a bad situation…remember worse has options and one of your options is opportunity. Find the opportunity in the bad. Massimino’s mantra has always been, “There’s impossible and then there’s improbable…& if it’s not all zeros…even if there’s a .0000001% chance-if there’s a 1 in there, you’re still in the fight.”

Bad can be good because it causes a shakeup..an awakening…sometimes bad cauterizes the shit that’s been lingering on for far too long in your life and now that it’s officially over, it’s time to pivot…push off & make good from the bad.

Opportunity is not found by lamenting in anguish about all of the injustice, unfairness, Why is this always happening to me! kinds of pleas…

The opportunity is found in looking for a crack, a sliver, a speck of light and building-digging you fingers in and clawing out from there.

How you got here has already happened…where you go from here is yet to be determined...you just have to find the opportunities and often they’re found in the bad.

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While on the set of Deliverance, filmmaker John Boorman walked up to actor Burt Reynolds and said, “Stop acting. Just behave…we’ll wait for you because we can’t take our eyes off of you..” Boorman didn’t want an actor…he wanted Reynolds playing the role of Lewis Medlock.

When our performance is based on conformance, then we just blend into our environment & lose ourselves in order to take on the character that we think society, family, or our boss wants.

We act and cease behaving…

As told by Ryan Holiday, George Clooney initially struggled as an actor because he tried so hard to fit the character the producers were looking for until one day he got the realization that he shouldn’t try to fit the role…the role should fit him.

It became clear to him that the producers needed him more than he needed them.

& if the audition didn’t pan out, Clooney could go on dozens of other auditions…

he had options, while the producers were desperately seeking the one. 

Armed with his newfound knowledge, Clooney began showing up to auditions projecting that he was The One for the job.

And because he projected so much confidence..

…because he didn’t walk in reeking of desperation…

because he showed himself approved…filmmakers made a way because Clooney behaved his way into the roles.

Many times we take on or inherit positions and continue playing the position the way that it’s always been played.

We run alongside of the way that it’s always been done..we conform…we act…

when Life needs you to behave.

When you act you blend in…but when you behave, you stand out.

When you act, you’re cast in black, white, & grays of usual…but when you behave..

when you bring your “You”…

when you bring your flair…

your flavor…

your uniqueness…

your quirks…

when you bring your How I do to what you do…

when you Be AND Do-not just do…well, you become the red umbrella walking through the gray crowd….

And you know what….

We’ll wait for you because you embody what we’re looking for.

There’s too many actors in this world and not enough Be-ings.

Beings behaving in such a way that we can’t help but get out of your way…to clear our schedule..to make room…hell to create a whole other column just for you.

And let me tell you how liberating it’ll be for you…because you cease acting & start behaving, you get to be you & because you’re no longer burning the emotional currency of acting, you’ll feel more complete…more in control of your most valuable asset…

…that asset is You…

So rest easy. Don’t worry about missing out…just behave…we’ll wait for you because we can’t take our eyes off of you.

Stay in The Sales Life

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When it comes to our own lives, we pay attention to only 2 letters of the alphabet…we start at A and worry about Z and we totally alienate the other 24 letters of our lives. We want to know how it’ll all pan out before we even move-it’s like we stand at A and have to know the answers to Z. We do it in all areas of our Life-we need to know if this relationship is the one…we need to know that this is a career that we can retire from…we fret in finances, spirituality, health, our day, month, year…hell our whole Life. We have to, have to, have to know how everything plays out first and if we don’t know if “it’s” going to be ok, we’ll catastrophize that too-we just blow shit out of proportion…and we haven’t even moved…we’re still standing on A.

Life’s job is A-Z, but my job is only to get to B & once I get to B get to C, D…G…T; I just have to get to the next step in my Life and once I get there, focus on the next one…that’s all that Life asks of me-to maximize each letter of my Life.

It’s human nature to want to insure our next step with certainty-to know that something’s worth taking on, holding onto, or letting go, but sometimes the answers will not be clear until you take a series of steps. Life’s not revealed, it’s unfolded…we want our answers to be behind Door #3, but instead Life nudges us to just head in that direction and along the way, she’ll whisper what to do. 

Will the next step be clear..will it be certain…will it be a win…will it be what I wished for? No..no it won’t always be. That’s why there’s more than one step…that’s why there’s C,D,E, & F’s in our lives, because along the way, we’ll hit walls..we’ll get blown back..we’ll stumble and fall. Moments that hurt..moments that seem unfair..but they’re moments of transition just the same. And when you hit moments such as divorce, demotion, death, bankruptcy, sickness, and abandonment…as much as they hurt, don’t capitalize them. Don’t give them prominence in your Life-don’t capitalize the A’s B’s, D’s, S’s; don’t let these moments be the reason why you gave up..threw up your hands and sat down. As shitty and fucked up as these moments are, they are still moments of transition that today have no reason but years from now bear deep meaning…moments that have no answer until you take the next steps. It’s hard…I know it is, but there’s healing beginning at the doorstep of next. 

…and resist saying the words, If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve NEVER…..Because you had to go through that now to discover your never…what you’ll never tolerate or put up with again…that you’ll never again not speak up instead of staying silent..that you’ll never be talked to, treated, or abused again…

Now is necessary for Never. 

So has your journey continues today, don’t worry about Z…just get to B…then C…focus on taking just one more step.

And don’t worry… Z will be waiting for you…after whY. 

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You need doubters… you do…
I know you reeeeally want others to believe in you… I know you endlessly plead your case to your besties and your Aunt Laura, but you must have doubters in your Life. You need doubters because if you didn’t have someone to say that “You can’t”…if you didn’t have someone say “You won’t”-if you didn’t have those who didn’t believe in you then how would you ever grow?
Who would provoke to rise otherwise?
When I got to McNeese State University, I came in as an undersized offensive lineman –  truthfully I really I think I was brought in to just fill a slot.  I was #5 on the depth chart-meaning 4 other linemen would have to go down, fail out, or spontaneously combust before I’d ever get a shot at touching the field..and that’s exactly what happened (minus the combustion part). All of those playing in front of me either flunked out or got hurt, so like the Red Sea parting, I suddenly became the starting offensive tackle…for a day. Upon hearing the news, the coaching staff immediately began scrambling because they didn’t think I was “ready-” which is really code for they weren’t ready to cast me as a starter. So they ended up finding a kid at a junior college to immediately fill the open spot, but with only a week before practice started for the new season, the kid decided he didn’t want to play football anymore.
With no other options..no one to take from one position and slide into the vacancy, the coaches reluctantly gave me the nod.
And I’ll never forget that…
I set out to bust my ass-training extra-staying late, to earn that spot. I started that year as a sophomore never looked back and went on to become an All-American, All-State (Louisiana), and was elected Permanent Team Captain by my teammates… an undersized lineman who started out as #5 on the depth chart.
None of that would’ve been possible had they not doubted me first.
I needed them to doubt me…
Doubters make you prove yourself… not to others-they make you prove yourself to you. Doubters provoke you to raise your game up, test your faith, and they become your litmus test to see if you really want what you say you want. Have you ever told someone your far-fetched idea and as soon as they laugh, scoff, and look at you crazy you shrink? You downsize – minimize your plans because you didn’t have absolute conviction in your abilities and destination.
Doubters test your ignition – is it a spark or flame?  Do you want it so bad… do you see it so vividly that the second they doubt you-when they do a double take at your grandiose plans…the second you see that glimmer of doubt in their eyes or their expression, that only fan the flames even more? 
See when others judge you or determine your future only from the front porch of today- man that notion alone should ignite you toward a full-fledged inferno. Doubts are just opinions, but you are living, breathing talented absolute fact and they just kicked the ant pile. They woke you up to say, “Fuck this!” See there’s a difference between saying, Fuck You  and Fuck This…You is a defensive stance….This is a new mission-a mission where you stop telling and start showing…Up. It’s the point where you work at developing yourself and no longer wait to get picked. Your effort..your grit..your resilience is what puts you in the starting lineup of life. You’re already in motion when they “all of the sudden“ take notice.
 
By then it’s too late…
 
They underestimated you which is a good thing.  See, when people discount your abilities… when they underestimate you…when they pay you no mind… when you’re non-factor in their book, when they don’t give you any resistance-they don’t even object or get in your way because they don’t think you can do it and you just keep showing up working right there in their face… doing, growing, becoming what they never saw you in the first place…
 
But you did…
 
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